


A Pirate's Life For Me

by Rycolfan (Snarryeyes)



Category: Whose Line Is It Anyway? RPF
Genre: AU, Action/Adventure, Crossover, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-10-02
Updated: 2012-10-02
Packaged: 2017-11-15 11:49:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,610
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/526989
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Snarryeyes/pseuds/Rycolfan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Originally written for a WL film dub challenge. POTC crossover.</p>
<p>This is purely a work of fiction. No offense intended to those portrayed herein.</p>
    </blockquote>





	A Pirate's Life For Me

**Author's Note:**

> Originally written for a WL film dub challenge. POTC crossover.
> 
> This is purely a work of fiction. No offense intended to those portrayed herein.

The bow of The Black Lady cut through the blanket of thick fog, which covered the ocean like a death shroud. There was hardly a breath of wind to fill the sails, or stir the deathly flag all sailors feared the world over.

Ryan, the captain of this dread ship, stood on deck as his men worked tirelessly around him, his gaze fixed ahead, eyes narrowed in an attempt to penetrate the white haze. These were dangerous waters that surrounded the scattered Caribbean islands, with many different pirates fighting tooth and nail to enforce their dominance. Ryan had acquired a fearsome reputation himself, but there was one other who rivalled it. He ran a finger down the scar on his face, a souvenir of their last encounter; soon he would have his revenge.

The ship’s first mate, Gregory, also known as Greg the Gruesome, stood at Ryan’s elbow, occasionally shouting gruff orders at the men with threats of dismemberment if not carried out quickly and to his complete satisfaction. His body bore the scars of countless battles, but he always thirsted for more.

“Do you think he’s close by, cap’ain?” Greg asked in a low rumble, glaring at a couple of passing men with his good eye. They quickly scurried to their posts, heads down.

“Aye,” Ryan said quietly. “He’ll come for his gold before dawn breaks, you mark my words.”

“And we’ll be ready for him,” Greg growled, his hand resting on the hilt of his cutlass.

Ryan pulled a gold pocket-watch from his waistcoat pocket and opened it. It was almost three in the morning; not long until sunrise. The fog wouldn’t linger for long under the relentless heat of the tropical sun.

“Ship ahoy!”

The panicked cry from the lookout was heard only a few seconds before something large collided with the side of the ship, causing it to tilt alarmingly. The sound of splintering wood rent the air and mayhem ensued as the ship was boarded by countless sword-wielding ruffians.

Ryan and Greg drew their swords and cut down the first three to reach them with barely any effort. The rest of their men had done the same, abandoning their various posts to fight, and were mostly holding their own against the invaders. A moment later, Ryan’s gaze was drawn to a familiar man casually stepping down onto the deck from the other ship; his nemesis.

Captain ‘Mad’ Colin Mochrie, said to have lost all but the darkest side of himself on the island where he had been marooned for four years by his previous captain. That captain had paid dearly for his decision, sliced end to end in front of his crew who immediately pledged their allegiance to the new man in charge. Flanking him was his first mate, Jeff ‘Death’ Davis, who was swiftly taking care of anyone who so much as looked at them wrong. He was just as cold and cruel as his captain; he liked to kill very slowly, enjoying every last cry of pain from his victims.

“You have something of mine, captain,” Mochrie remarked nonchalantly, ignoring the life and death struggle going on around him as he walked slowly towards his adversary. “Tell me where it is, and I may spare your life.”

Ryan laughed loudly, slashing a man in the throat who had attempted to creep in from one side. “You don’t really think it’ll be that easy, do you?” 

“I can make you talk,” Jeff leered, starting forwards, but Colin pulled him back.

“Perhaps we could make a deal, then.”

Suspicion and curiosity flickered in Ryan’s eyes. “A deal?”

Colin nodded once. “In the best pirate tradition, you and I alone shall fight it out. The winner gets the gold.”

“And the loser?”

The answer was clear in Colin’s malicious smile. “I suggest you decide quickly, while we still have men left.”

Greg threw off his latest attacker to hiss at Ryan, “It’s a trick cap’ain,” but Ryan merely smiled.

“I accept.”

“Excellent,” Colin said briskly, before turning to the fighting horde around him. “Stand down, men!”

Ryan repeated the call to his own men, shouting over the constant clash of metal, but there was a great deal of confusion about these orders, and more than one man took advantage to drive their swords home.

“I said stand down!” Colin commanded more firmly, drawing his sword to put it across the throat of one of his men who had not yet obeyed. “Now!” 

An eerie silence fell upon deck, and the two captains walked forwards, their men stumbling backwards to clear a space. “We have decided to settle this ourselves,” Colin continued, “according to the pirate code. Winner takes all.” He idly kicked a dead man out of the way as he spoke.

Ryan gripped his sword tightly, ready for the first strike which could come at any moment. One thing he’d learned about his opponent was his unpredictability, and, of course, being a pirate meant no fight was ever clean.

“See that no-one interferes,” Colin added to his first mate.

Jeff raised his sword, an evil smile twisting his mouth as his gaze travelled over the men. It was clear to everyone present that he’d take great pleasure in enforcing that command, and no-one intended to give him that opportunity.

As expected, Colin gave no warning before swinging his sword around, but Ryan was ready for it; he easily deflected the blow and fought back, driving Colin across the deck in an intricate dance of footwork and skill with the blade. It was lightning fast, and seemingly effortless for Colin whose enjoyment was apparent in his grin. Several times one of their men didn’t move out of the way quickly enough and became an unfortunate casualty, but neither captain paused in their fierce battle; their determination and thirst for victory was written across their sweat covered faces, and nothing would stand in their way.

After countless minutes of swordplay, Ryan managed to catch Colin’s leg, ripping a large gash which ran red with blood. He watched as the other man dropped to his knees in pain, his sword clattering to the ground beside him. Ryan’s men were cheering as he advanced slowly on the fallen man, lowering his sword, but a split second later Colin had lunged up at him, knocking the sword from his hand and holding his own to Ryan’s throat.

“Never mistake pain for weakness, captain,” Colin hissed, eyes aglow with his triumph.

“Looks like you win again,” Ryan said, still breathing hard. “Aren’t you going to finish me off?”

A slow smile. “That really wouldn’t be in my best interests, would it?”

Colin stepped back and sheathed his sword, while Jeff picked Ryan’s up and held onto it with gleeful satisfaction. “There’s a small matter of gold to discuss; we’ll go to your cabin and you can give me what I want.”

Giving Jeff strict instructions to maintain order and allow no-one to disturb him, Colin shoved Ryan through the door to his spacious captain’s quarters and closed it behind them. Ryan had barely blinked before he found himself thrown backwards across the desk, Colin leaning over him with a dagger to his throat.

Ignoring the sharp point digging into his flesh, Ryan smirked. “I thought you wanted your gold?”

“Oh, I do,” Colin said matter-of-factly; “I just want something else first.” He threw his dagger aside and crashed their lips together; Ryan lifted his head to meet him halfway, pulling him closer.

There was an animalistic edge to their passion; teeth clashed together while hands ripped clothing away. Ryan used his strength to roll Colin over, which resulted in both of them tumbling to the floor. Colin’s curse was cut off by Ryan’s mouth as he resumed the kiss, growling victoriously as his fingers at last found hot flesh beneath the layers of clothes.

Colin gasped against his mouth. “Do it now.”

 

Their union was hard, fast, and gloriously satisfying, leaving both men panting, their hearts hammering and their bodies glistening with sweat. Colin lay, with his eyes closed, in a haze of blissful contentment, while Ryan’s lanky frame lay draped across him.

“They’re going to wonder what all that noise was about, you know,” Ryan mumbled into Colin’s shoulder.

“No; they’ll just assume that I was kicking your ass,” Colin replied confidently. “Not too far from the truth… your ass was heavily involved, after all.”

The answering rumble of laughter resonated through Colin’s chest and sparked a grin, but it faded when a high-pitched sound came from somewhere above. He opened his eyes and glanced around for his pocket-watch, locating it under the desk with his waistcoat, just within reach of his fingertips.

“Time’s up,” he murmured, clicking it shut with a sigh.

His attempt to get up was thwarted by Ryan, who sprang to life, pinning his hands, and kissed him soundly. “It really does fly when you’re having fun.”

Several aborted attempts later, they both finally managed to collect the various items of clothing from around the cabin and made themselves presentable once more.

“You’re getting a lot better with the sword, you know,” Colin remarked, tightening his belt.

Ryan held out the fallen dagger with a grin. “I’ll have you next time.”

“You had me this time,” Colin smirked, running a hand down his chest before taking the dagger back. He slid it into his boot and, taking a final look around, they both headed for the door.

“Until we meet again, captain,” Ryan said, stealing a final kiss.

“Until then,” Colin smiled. He opened the door, then turned back to the empty room. “Computer; end program.”


End file.
